You've probably spotted that some people like to spend time getting to know others, building a strong relationship with them, and may let deadlines or quality slide so as to not fall out. They have a strong 'relationship focus'. Others like to know what's expected, what the deadlines are, and focus on delivery even if it means other people are side-lined or criticised. They have a strong 'task focus'. How can you persuade task-focussed people to put time into relationships?
Trust is essential to collaborative work and makes all kinds of stakeholder engagement more fruitful. Clients often have 'increased trust' as an engagement objective. But how do you get someone to trust you?
My first response is to challenge back: should people trust you? Are you entering this collaboration or engagement process in good faith? Do you have some motives or aims which are hidden or being spun? Do some people in your team see consultation and participation as just more sophisticated ways of persuading people to agree with what you've already made up your mind about? Or are you genuinely open to changing things as a result of hearing others' views? Is the team clear about what's up for grabs?
It's an ethical no-brainer: don't ask people to trust you if they shouldn't!
Assuming you do, hand on heart, deserve trust, then the best way to get people to trust you is to be trustworthy.
Do what you say you're going to do. Don't commit to things that you can't deliver.
Don't bad-mouth others - hearing you talk about someone one way in public and another in a more private setting will make people wonder what you say about them when they're not around.
The other side of the coin is to be trusting. Show your vulnerability. Share information instead of keeping it close. Be open about your needs and constraints, the pressures on you and the things that you find hard. If you need to give bad news, do so clearly and with empathy.
Long-term relationships require investment of time and effort. Building trust (or losing it) happens over time, as people see how you react and behave in different situations.
Be worthy of people's trust, and trust them.
