Bjørn Christian Tørrissen, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
You've probably spotted that some people like to spend time getting to know others, building a strong relationship with them, and may let deadlines or quality slide so as to not fall out. They have a strong 'relationship focus'. Others like to know what's expected, what the deadlines are, and focus on delivery even if it means other people are side-lined or criticised. They have a strong 'task focus'. How can you persuade task-focussed people to put time into relationships?
Building strong relationships AND getting things done are both important. Go too far towards 'relationship focus' and the task can suffer. Go too far the other way, and relationships suffer. If you never have to work together again, perhaps it doesn't matter so much (although how much nicer would life be if we got things done happily together all the time). But if the team or group need to work together again, it's very useful to find the sweet spot between the two. Relationship-focused people need to get disciplined about tasks. And task-focused people need to put time into relationships.
It can be hard, as a facilitator, coach or manager, to persuade people with a strong task focus that it's worth paying attention to relationships. Especially at the moment, when our online meetings are scheduled with clear start and end times (an effect of using calendar invitations in things like Outlook or setting up meetings in Zoom), and we are mindful of not wasting others’ time online, building in time for what might feel like purposeless social interaction takes a bit of nerve. I was working with a group recently where one person in particular had a very strong task focus. They were not happy about the idea of setting up online meetings with colleagues simply to chat about how things were going. I could see their point, and yet I knew that this group needed to loosen up a bit and trust each other just a few degrees more.
So I explained about how trust - built up through knowing each other better, understanding what's going on in each other's lives, finding things in common outside of work - is like the oil in the cogs, or a shock absorber, or (and this metaphor worked best) a cushion. When things go wrong, as they inevitably will, the cushion of trust makes for a softer landing.
People are more likely to give each other the benefit of the doubt, and move on quickly from misunderstandings or mistakes, when there's a good plump cushion of trust to protect against hard knocks. And that means that the tasks can get back on track again more quickly.
Making the Path by Walking
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